3:06 AM

You know those moments in life where you just can't sleep... this is one of those moments.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how my life seems to throwing me endless curve balls and I'm kind of left to wonder what is going on. It honestly is driving me a bit crazy because I keep trying to push forward but once I get a bit of traction life pulls the rug right back out from under my feet and the joke continues.

Dalai Lama XIV said the following "When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways: either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength."

I feel like because of how often I've been thrown under the bus that taking path of losing hope sounds really good so I can at least settle for the outcome of not having to try to push forward anymore and just become a grey zombie of society that just does what the world tells me to do. Then I could join Death Cab for Cutie's anthem from their song "The Sound of Settling".

Bop bah
This is the sound of settling
Bop bah, bop bah (bop bah)
Bop bah, (bop bah)
This is the sound of settling
Bop bah, bop bah (bop bah)

Then I am reminded of these two scriptures.

2 Nephi 2:11

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

 Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble;and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. 

As much as I don't understand what is going on in my life I need to remember to put my life in Gods hands and let him craft me and guide me the way he would have me go. To keep my chin up and keep on pushing forward, to dust myself off one more time, learn from where I came from and put one foot in-front of the other. My past is my past it makes me who I am today and I have can have a greater understanding of life both the good and the bad. As I rely on the atoning love of Christ I can do anything and be who He would have me be, to use this "challenge to find [my] inner strength.".

Lake Powell Star Trail